Aged

Midway through the temple ceremony I hear a blow horn effort at whispering from behind that prompts me to glance back only to witness an elderly woman asking for a glass of water. The matron was desperately trying to process the request and keep the woman to a dull roar. This is an odd request as once in the room there isn't really any noise let alone water breaks. There is the most quiet reverence with exception to instruction. It is clearly understood that the situation is akin to deep meditation and that the matrons are not car hops.

When I enter the temple a transition occurs as I step through the doors. My countenance softens, my stride recedes and my manner becomes less coarse. I own that I am a force of nature and coming to the temple to worship allows me to round that edge. I caught myself immediately irritated at this woman's lack of respect and then I looked back again. She was nearly 90 years of age, stooped and unable to walk without support. I could see her discomfort clearly etched upon a wrinkled brow and her plea to the matron was simply that. She needed water and the matron though perplexed at this unexpected request quickly collected herself and returned with the water. The brother in charge approached with some hard candy to suck on and I quickly realized my mistake.

 Many people this age are resigned to their cozy chair situated in front of the TV. There aches and pains are too much to bare out and they do as little as is required to pass the day. This little stooped woman used all the energy she had to get herself to the temple. The session was mild as usual (there isn't a physical prowess necessary to participate) but before the end she could not even stand when needed. I couldn't help but admire her tenacity, her determination to keep moving forward with the life she had left. I reflected on my own purpose that day and wondered what hers might look like. Was she just praying to get through the next hour? Minute? Was she feeling uplifted or renewed? I wanted so much to ask her though such a conversation could not be held in the temple at a low enough decibel. I had to satisfy myself with the notion that she was there to teach those of us perseverance and endurance. Oh and patience.

Leaving the grounds I felt the softness leave me as I hurried to my car to re-enter the chaotic world. I thought back with shame on my initial reaction and then realized I had witnessed a rare insight. I had viewed the capabilities of man and what is possible with the right outlook. You are either decaying or moving forward. There really isn't an in between and so I thought to myself... will I be the woman in the chair passing the day with my TV or the doer 'til the end?