Powered By Blogger

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Reflections of a mother

As I sit here all alone reflecting on my past year as a mother I am not surprised that it's a relief to be alone. Most mothers would be saddened by the fact that they are not surrounded by their off-spring or doted on by the husband. I was given a gift last night. My husband is out of town on business and though I would love to have him home today it was nice he was not. My children and I went down Saturday to celebrate with grandmas and they all wanted to stay. My sister volunteered to bring them home and I set off to be alone. Why was this such a gift? Why is this so delicious to me as I sit chronicling this day? Well, some of you may be familiar with the feeling of mommy overload. It's when the very sound of their voices (and ladies be honest husbands often have the same effect as children) demanding your life force makes your ears bleed. The constant pawing at your skin hurts and the ever present exhaustion replaces the guilt you feel from choosing yourself over them just once into a closely guarded, fangs bared..., "GET OUT OF MY ROOM! ALL OF YOU!"

This past year has been a bit overwhelming and the culmination of events has led me to this space I now occupy. Some of you will take the stance of indignation. Some will quietly agree but keep the plastic smile on to appease the indignant. Some of you are blissfully ignorant. It's not my place to dictate your phase of life, but there will be some who identify and ladies there is nothing wrong with that. Mother's Day is something different to everyone. Maybe you are mourning. Maybe you are not in touch with your mother. Maybe you are having the perfect day of luxury and appreciation or maybe you are overwhelmed, under appreciated and needing some precious alone time away from a relentless job that while very fulfilling can lead to a sudden urgency for selfishness once a year. 

I do appreciate all the ladies in my who have been my "mother" including the woman who gave me life and raised me to this point. Yes she is still doing things that change my behavior and help me see the world in a better light. I appreciate these women for helping me to be stronger and love myself despite the voice that sometimes tells me I am not enough. It's a small voice that I can usually stamp out or dismiss and thankfully because of the women in my life I detect it's false motive right away. Happy Mother's Day ladies where ever you are in life. Keep your chin up and remember it's OK to take a minute for yourself. Just stare down the indignant faces and do it anyway. Ooops! There's my dog whining to come in. I should have left him with the others!

No comments:

Post a Comment