She looked straight in my eyes with tears pooling. My words were clear but unaffected. "Why?" "What is troubling your heart and mind that you must flush those emotions through tears and pain?" "What fears lurk behind the strong teeth you bare?" "Where did you go?" "Who are you?" I peered in the mirror, searching for the woman I know, desperate to recognize the face I can't place. There are two voices in my head. One is clear and controlled. She always sees through the chaos to lead us to the safe path. She knows just what to say and how to calm our mind and heart. She is the lion, the leader, the fierce voice that brings the much needed perspective. She is power. The other is tender and kind. It is she who caresses and holds. She feels and sometimes that pierces us deep. She cries. Oh how she cries and racks the frame we abide. She makes the human in us. She keeps us soft enough to see others and love them, sometimes too deeply. She has been crying and crying, so I ask. Where are you? What are you doing? WHY ARE YOU CRYING????? Calm steps in and grabs the insides. What are you afraid of? He is here. He will always be here. He is not going anywhere. There is enough around you. There are so many around you giving you all the love and support you need. He is tired. He is sick, but that won't last. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!!! You are going to make it. You are OK! Things could be worse. Head up. You have this. You will come out on the other side...victorious. You will. My heart slows down. My breathing evens and the tears....the tears dry. They dry and I can breathe again. I can breathe again....for now.
